>>>It Really Happened, Terrible Banquet of Kenichi Ito ~First Volume~ (hontou ni atta kowai utage)
We braved the winds and rain as I cried feeling my hair get tugged out of place. We purikura'd. Blew time getting Sarah a cell phone. And we took the train to Uguisudani. We arrived only an hour before it opened, so the crowds were gathering. I bought the new single... I felt the urge to buy all the other goods they had, just because I like to buy things, but there was the problem of not having more money, and already owning those goods. We went to McDonald's, and I listened to the new songs fully. Amazing... I liked them both at first listen. Typically Kenichi's music is an acquired taste for me, or in the case of two he's written, I flat out don't like them. It's rare for me to like any song the first time I hear it, but really. Impressive. Of course, his English is horrible. Sigh, sigh. I won't really knock it though, my Japanese is horrible! We met Mr. Tea and her friend outside the club, and they looked shocked at my appearance. We hung for a little while, took photos, and then... Mr. Tea left. She only came to see how I looked!! They weren't even going to the banquet.e
Finished, the lights focused on the stage's upper left corner, where a raised platform led to the main stage with curly stairs. James Bond's theme played, and then, at the final note - Kenichi dramatically pushed back the curtains and posed. HE WAS WEARING A FUCKING YUKATA. A FUCKING YUKATA! [Educational Note: A yukata is a kimono for summer. It is the same thing, only lighter materials are used and there is less wrapping. ] We lost our minds at this.
He waved a fan around, a pint of beer in his other hand, and daintily lifted
the yukata, exposing his bony ankles and some of his calves, to steppity-step
down the stairs in his Japanese-style sandals (geta). I think we
were not really believing we were seeing this. Once on stage he kinda laughed
and opened the banquet. First, he lifted his beer glass, and we all had
a cheers to a good banquet. He scandalously chugged a good third of it
down, wiping his mouth after. He asked who else had alcohol.. they raised
their hands... and who didn't. He proceeded to sit on a tall chair at the right end of the stage, adjusting his yukata (He was very, very fidgety in that thing... under a yukata you basically have nothing but underwear on. And I know from experience, its very easy for them to slip and show more than you want. Ken probably checked to make sure he was all covered about twenty times... seriously). He then read us a story about Iggy-chan, and Ushiro no Kenichitarou (a little Kenichi ghost), complete with illustrations up on the screen and many Dragonball Z references. He couldn't stop laughing throughout this whole story. At the end the real Kenichi came out and yelled at Iggy for marking all over a tree. Oddly, Ken used a weird voice for himself. Wtf. At the end the Dragonball Z theme played, and Kenichi got up and did a retarded little dance in his yukata. After this, the entourage of players began. He brought out Mizue first, to start playing some acoustic music. They began with Song for the U.S.A. which made me feel very special. Ken says he heard it when an American sax player came to Japan to perform. It was all Japanese, except the chorus, which according to Ken is "This izza song for U.S.A.!!". It was very well played and sang, and I almost felt....sappily moved by it. However, it was what happened directly after that truly ...well, it didn't move me, but I did nearly die from lack of breath. Ken talked a bit about not understanding English well, and that that was a very American song. He asked loudly in Japanese, was his English good? Is it bad? Then he said, in Japanese, to explain why he was asking... "There is an American over there." And he looked at me, and
pointed. Holy Jesus.
After this, he basically talked for a half hour. Yes. He talked. for. thirty. minutes. The topics included the weather, summer ending, Daisuke Asakura, Yohei Izumi, Sharkie's DAA, and other things I couldn't catch. At another hilarious moment, as Kago-chan played Godfather music on the keyboard, Kenichi, using his deep scary voice, muttered into the mic..."Fuck you all. Fuck. Fuck you, fuck you all." And continued that Americans are always saying "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!" I couldn't breathe. He brought out the rest of his supporting musicians at various times, all in yukata, Kaori the drummer looking beautiful, and Tohru the outcast barefoot in jinbee (a droopy pajama like outfit worn by boys). At some point a girl's phone starting ringing, and the ringtone was Forgiven Eden, so Ken yelled "OH SEEKER!!" and started to hum along and laughed like it was so hilarious. They performed kimi wa tennen shoku (You're A Natural Color), Have You Ever Seen the Rain?, completely in English ("I wanna kno~ow, did you evaa see zaa lain?"), and Don't Stop the Radio. Various amusing things happened, such as Kaori emerging with some of her beer gone (they all got a cheers when they came out), and Tohru emerging with almost no beer left at all, whining that he had to wait a long time. Then - intermission. Bathroom, squealing with my Snakey, and they played Mr. Roboto on the speakers.
And
MEDITATION~shikou shisaku ni okeru mesouni te~ began.
Remember I said there are two songs Kenichi has written I don't particularly
like at all? Well, this is one of them. WTF! However, it actually sounded
good live. He put down his guitar to get all up into it, and he really
did get all up into it. Then, a new song - Another
Side of Summer. This song is amazing for two reasons - one,
the English, two, the REGGAE. It's SO reggae sounding! But it's AWESOME!
And completely different. I love it, I am completely and happily shocked.
"Hallo, alone, halloo~ooo.... anazza side of summer, zaa world wizzout
you, I say please wizzout you cl~y... morning afternoon and cly." It's
slower, and Ken got so into it, rocking back and forth slowly and singing
as best he could. Aw Ken... you know how adorable it is, and you do it
on purpose, to make yourself plenty of fangirls. And next was iroai ~ IROAI~!! Fuck yeah! When the song started rocking, he totally spun across the stage like awesome whoa. He had us sing the chorus, like last time... using more English to instruct us. "Everybody!! You say!!" etc... and he said those words with the weirdest sort of accent. In any case, I was freaking. This is my favourite song from all his solo works. I rocked so hard I think I hurt my arm, and by the time the song ended, I was holding up my "rock out" arm with my not-rock out arm. He whammy sticked plenty, and bounced, and got into it, and as typical I felt like crying at the final guitar solo part. Damn, what a good song. Another classic Ken song was next - Tonight. Although it came on super loud, and stayed that way... for such a slow song, it left me ears ringing for ten minutes after it ended. Jesus christ! Again Ken set his guitar aside to get really into it, singing passionately and gripping the microphone. He tries so hard... it's so mellowing to watch him... this uber talented guy, who needs to really struggle to sing something perfectly, because his voice is so weird. Gee whiz. After, he said the next song was the last song. We all eeeh'd sadly. So Ken went "daww" into the mic, kinda rolling his eyes at us. He talked for a little, reminding us he has a new single on sale, and the next Endorphin Machine live and banquet are next month. Then I guess he decided I needed to be reminded, also, and in a move that basically shocked me (I didn't think he'd do any more of this!), he looked right at me again. His intelligent speech that left Japanese laughing and me dead where I sat: "Come on? Come on back? Come on back? Don't you hear? Ummm.... mother fucking... mother fucking BOY. YES. Yes. I. Am. Umm... coffee si vous ple?" I think my brain exploded and my lungs collapsed right about then. After I finished dying, he played End of Summer: Perky guitar, great sound, bad English. When Kenichi posted a clip of this on his web site, I tried to guess the words. "Bubba piercing some toe summer" was my first guess. I had a few, really. Only when I opened the packet and read the real words - "Love experience, end of summer" did I learn Ken had more sense than I gave him credit for. That's kinda good English, dudes! Kinda GOOD! Not kinda bad, like in Another Side of Summer. By the way, the Summer thing is redundant. In any case, this song is amazing. It's also amazingly Iceman-like. This song could have been on Power Scale or Gate II or some other Iceman album with Ken's other Iceman songs, and it would have fit perfectly and/or better than some others! Well, it's just a good song, with a good beat, and a nice sound. Kudos, Ken, kudos. Otsukaresama.
After he left, we basically
met up in a group, filled out comment sheets (I begged for him to play
Iceman songs, and to study English, and to not say fuck to Americans...now
that I know he reads my comment sheets closely), and went home, after much
merriment and laughter. Where else can I end this report? It was a wonderful,
wonderful night. And the bubbly feeling in my chest is still here, not
even 24 hours after it all happened, as I write this to do so when my memory
is still fresh and making me happy. As always... thanks, Ken. You'll always
be my mother fucking boy with the crazy style.
Set List:
Players:
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[
I now feel my reports have turned into things that sound like crazy stories
I made up. So here I begin a new tradition... a disclaimer! EVERYTHING
HERE IS THE TRUTH. It is what I remember in my mind, and clarify with photos
and by re-listening to the event as it happened. Exact quotes translated
from Japanese might be fuzzy, but the best I can do. English quotes are
written exactly they are or as I, an American, hear them. ]
Hurricane's
a comin'. I could choose to be a fangirl with my Kenichi umbrella, and
risk the typhoon's winds snapping it, or lug a giant ugly one around. I
went with the giant ugly one. Wearing a black suit, tie, and dress shirt,
I trudged through the drizzle to Shibuya. Haruka and I met with my friend
Sarah, who I sneakily convinced to come along to this event. She wore a
shirt she'd written "I Love Kenichi Ito" on. So clever, Sarah the Jew.
Smoker we went. Smoker we arrived. For those new to my reports, Smoker
is a hair salon that has always done and continues to do various members
of DA Family's hair, including but not limited to DA, Kuroda, Ken, Kinya,
and T.M.R. Even my two Smoker bitches (always the same two! always!) seemed
impressed at how "kakkoii" my suit looked. Haruka was dying in anticipation...
she did this, with her own money, after all... the suit, and Smoker. I
would later find she told people she was bringing the "perfect Kenichi"
to the banquet. Gulp. So my Smokerchikkie painted my hair down carefully
with what seemed to be a bright red dye. She took half an hour making sure
she got it all, then took another hour to let it finish and wash it out.
Then it was styled. And it just fucking rocked. By far... the best Kenichi
hairdo I have ever donned. Haruka and Sarah claimed I looked as if I WAS
him... which is creepy, and I feel untrue. Then again, I might just be
used to my face. The Smoker people let us take photos of me posing in front
of the CDs and photos inside. Why mine came out so badly pixelized I will
never know.
Inside
the club, I found a totally different setup than at my previous two Ken
happenings, both lives.... CHAIRS! We sat DOWN for this, which was an event,
not a live. I was really confuzzled over it. Sarah's seat was in the balcony's
front row, a little right of center. Our seats were four rows back (roughly
10 feet away from the stage) and just BARELY right of center. Amazing luck.
I saw one seat in the front row that was all the way to the right and behind
a giant speaker. What the hell is that?!
The
kowai utage soon began, teaching us why it was so kowai. A video played.
A video made by Kenichi, and his two playing buddies Tohru and Mr. Hirakawa
(Ken's manager), with a home video camera. Kenichi explained, pointing
in a book, that there was some scary ghost legend in Saitama's Hannou city,
and they were going to go find out about it. For the next twenty minutes,
we were treated to Ken driving all over creation (the cameraman Mr. Hirakawa
hovering over his shoulder as they drove), trying to find this scary place
of legend. They stopped to check out a public phone, then deemed it wasn't
the right place, and found a long tunnel after more driving. Kenichi took
four photos, and the rest was too be continued... all of this was filmed
in the dark night, with dogs howling at the moon, and in a very homey,
Blair Witch project way. Ken at one point put a flashlight under his chin
and had the camera focus on his scariness. You kowai bastard!
When
asked what the non-alcohols had, one girl yelled "COLA!". After the cheers,
he did something weird. He kinda looked at me, then around, and said, in
English, "Uhh.....sit down preez!" We did, and I felt confused. He's apparently
said this at previous banquets, but I had never heard this sort of English
from him before. He checked who else was wearing yukata... a few people
were. He whined that he looked weird, and half the audience hollered back
that he was so cute, "Kawaii!!!" Ken laughed and kinda swished his
tight little yukata around. "Kawaii?" He said he didn't think so
and again that it was weird.
When
I calmed down he was babbling on still. I had to wonder, first of all,
was I that obvious? Second of all, how did he know I was American? I'll
wager without knowing exact stats that most English speakers here in Japan
are from England, New Zealand, or what have you. Anytime I go out, if I
meet someone new, they ask where I am from. Because Americans are just
NOT the only whites here. There's also French, Spanish... I could have
been anything. So just by seeing me, he couldn't have known. I then realized.
One, I am in his club The Glimmer, with my full name. Two, I went to two
previous concerts, and filled out the comments forms completely in English,
with the same name and my American address. I know for a dead set fact
I am the only foreigner to do any of these things. My Glimmer address is
Japanese, naturally, but... does this really mean he matched up the name
with the address and name on forms? Did he just risk the chance I wasn't
American? Or was Kenichi researching me and planned this whole thing out?
How creepy, if true. Yet... cool?
I
was still milling on the top floor when the event started again. Haruka
and I scrambled back to our seats to watch the next installment of Ken's
terrifying video. This time they drove through the tunnel they'd only taken
photos of before, found a creepy looking path into the woods, and another,
old, battered public phone. Ken sent Tohru inside, and Tohru was not happy,
as there were bugs everywhere and he squealed. They took more photos, and
the rest is still continuing on...when it ended, LOUNGE
began to play very loudly. Mizue and Tohru re-emerged onto the dark stage,
then Kenichi. Kenichi was wearing the same white disco suit from 
Then
it was MASQUE-RADE, a good old
favourite (old as in, from his first solo single a year ago as I write
this). He totally tried to get us as into this as he could, rocking his
fist on the hard beats and again, having us sing "Massssqueeee-rade, masquerade!".
A fun time, and he skipped around in circles playing the guitar. How sweet.
CAMERA! CAMERA!! started, and
just let me exclaim: JESUS! I can not ever get this song right! No matter
how many times, I will never get it right! I've only really heard the MADS
version, with the drums at the start and stuff... except for when he played
at the Solo Live. The new start Ken wrote for this song...I can't recognize
it! Luckily I realized about a second before we had to sing that it was
CAMERA! CAMERA!!.. so I sang. I could heard the backtrack as Ken watched
us singing
Everybody
but Ken left the stage afterwards.
01.
LOUNGE
